A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
