Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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