You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
