HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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