Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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