Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
