I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
is wine microwaveable?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
