I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
