What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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