Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
