Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize