Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
