she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
