while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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