That's intense
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
