i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize