do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
