she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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