Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
false alarm. still invincible.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
