so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
