Having a random hookup so left but love u
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
