Kiss
Puke
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
