oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
