i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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