so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
