she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
