Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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