There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Randomize