I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
