Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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