we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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