We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
there is puke in my bra ... again
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
