Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
