You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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