did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
