I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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