just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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