Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
