ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
