is wine microwaveable?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
