There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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