i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize