I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
