dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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