I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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