She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
