Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
