Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
