she told me i tasted like america
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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