how do flat chested girls get laid?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
