ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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