I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
