she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
