Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i out mim tonsoeep
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