i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Shame is for Republicans.
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