I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
worst night to have a conscience
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
