Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
