Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
