I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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