I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
