Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Your dad touched me again.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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