shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
