Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
