i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
