She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
