hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
