is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
