I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Operation Purity has been aborted
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
