look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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